If People Stopped to Think About What They Were Saying, We'd Have A Lot More Silence.

Adoption has been on my mind recently, but I haven't been able to put words to my thoughts. I've been stuck in this thought pattern about how derogatory and invalidating people are in their everyday lives about adoptees and members of the adoption triad. Think about how many times you've heard siblings arguing until one of them snipes,"Yeah, well you were adopted!" as if it's the most disgraceful thing in the world. I heard that ad nauseum between siblings when I'd go over to friends' houses. Ouch.

Then you find out your friend wants to adopt. Immediately, they are showered with "Wishing you the best of luck!", "You'll be parents in no time," etc etc. Nevermind that the subject to that is, "I'm hoping that a child is given up because of poverty, lack of resources, or age of parents soon so that you can feel fulfilled as people. Nevermind that the birthmother/father may be making the most heart-wrenching decision of their lives. I pray that happens quickly because I care about you and don't consider the social implications of the adoption system at all!"

Not to mention the child, who has most likely just been taken from the only family they've known for 10 months in utero. But that's okay! You can just take home your bundle of joy, and it'll be like nothing ever happened.

Adoption is pretty much always about the adoptive parents. If they really wanted to "give a child a better life" then why not sponsor a child from a poor family?

Recently, an acquaintance decide sie wants to adopt. Since then, friends and family have been reposting her website all over the place."If you know of any families looking to adopt out their children, let us know!"

How can people not see how fucked up the whole thing is?!

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