On Attachment.

Growing up, my adoptive parents would tell me I had "attachment issues". I didn't attach the way most kid were supposed to attach. Over the years, I've become more and more confident to say that they were full of shit. It's not attachment that I have a problem with; it's abuse. I don't tolerate systematic abuse from anyone. Ever. Those that are abusive try to turn that around on me as being "unattached".

Don't get me wrong, I don't attach to people easily. I have a labyrinth of walls up that people unknowingly must weave through before I fully trust them. I analyze their boundaries, interactions, and management of the world around them. However, once I become attached, it's forever.

That sounds a little ominous, so let me explain. I rarely tell people "I love you" because, to me, that's not something you should throw around lightly. To me, "I love you" means "this is unconditional. Nothing I could imagine you doing will ever make me not love you. You will never be a burden. Even if we were to never talk again, I would always hope you were okay. I'd always be here if you needed me."

That's a lot of power behind three words, which is why I don't say them lightly. But my ability to have such strong feelings towards not only those three words, but towards the people I say them to, shows that I'm not only capable of attachment but the attachments that I make are life-long. I've learned to be wary of anyone who tries to tell me differently.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7