Who is "Amanda"?

I finally decided upon what name to associate with this adoption journal: Amanda M.

Since I have some time, I thought I would take a moment to explain why I choose that name.

During a conversation with my birthfather a few months back, he randomly told me that, were he to have named me, he would have named me "Amanda". It was one of those comments that he probably thought nothing about, but meant a lot to me. While I don't plan on changing my legal name to "Amanda", I wanted to have some representation of the identity I could have had and thought what better way to do that than to use the name on my adoption blog. The "M", of course, stands for his last name. I've thought, on more than one occasion, about changing my surname to reflect his and to also better reflect my heritage, but I'm still not sure if I want to do that or not. I've known of some adoptees who do end up changing their first or last name (or both) in honor of their birth families, but I just haven't decided what is right for me yet.

In the meantime, I thought using the name in association to this blog would be a good starting point, while also helping to keep up the air of anonymity to anyone who I may know in real life who stumbles upon this blog. It's a way for me to reclaim part of my identity that was lost when I was adopted and I'm so glad that he shared it with me.