The Unwanted Child.

I just heard, yet again, how not all people who take in an "unwanted child" are bad people. Now, I have a question for everyone: If an "oops" child is brought into the world, what are the chances of anyone saying to them, "Well, your parents didn't really want you, but they got you and you should be grateful for them for keeping you." Unless that child was around really fucked up people, probably no one's ever said that to them.

So then why is it okay to tell adopted children that, well yeah, some adoptive parents are shitty, but most of them just want to give a home to a child that was otherwise unwanted? How did you suddenly become the all-knowing medium about why any child is given up for adoption? What about children conceived in poverty? Or children conceived by parents who were minors at the time (thus giving the child's grandparents legal authority over whether they are to be placed in foster care or not.

When did telling a child they were "unwanted" become acceptable in our society? Has anyone stopped to think about how incredibly fucked up that could make a child? Why can't we tell them that adoptive parents are, theoretically, more "well-equipped" or "capable" of raising a child? Can't we respect the child, the birthparents, AND the adoptive parents all at the same time? Why must people feel the need to shit all over the birthparents in order to convince the adopted child that adoptive parents should be commended?

I read somewhere once about how adoptive parents should want the best for their adoptive child. That they need to be able to accept, in the perfect world they wished their child could have been born into, that they would have never been their parent if something hadn't gone wrong. And "gone wrong" shouldn't just automatically mean "no one else wanted you."


ETA: Here is something that I just found from a fellow adoptee friend of mine:

It's food for thought, yes?